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after the baby has been home for two weeks would that bother you? Daughter in distant state just had a baby and we feel left out - that perhaps her husband's parents are there without our knowledge - to see the baby first and that would be hurtful. Parents all live in different states, far apart. The baby was born (last night) and we've barely heard a peep from them, let alone see a photo of the baby.
Answer
When my son was born it was awfully traumatic. The baby was getting very large and we needed to induce, so we spent 36 hours trying, and then we were told there were decels and they needed to get the baby out. So my wife, in a horribly weakened state from 36 hours of labor and no food, was wheeled into surgery, the LAST thing we wanted. They did a C-Section, but the epidural didn't take, she could feel them cutting, so they had to put her out completely. It was the polar opposite of what we'd envisioned. We also learned that she may have had undiagnosed GD, and what with the stress of 36 hours of labor and no nutrients entering her bloodstream, our son came out with very low blood sugar, so much that he was not staying awake long enough to eat. Top it off, it took my wife nearly two hours to be brought out of her anesthesia because the pain was so unbearable and anesthesia doesn't work well on her, so she wasn't able to hold the baby for about 4 hours after he was born. He wouldn't even take food from their cup, much less nurse, and the next day they took him to intensive care to get his sugars up.
Well, in the midst of this harrowing experience when I'm not sure what they're doing with my wife, my mom from 3 1/2 hours north is calling and calling the hospital over and over again, and I can't come to the phone, I keep telling them that I'll call her when I can. I get that she's excited, I'm her only child, and this was my first (and only) child. She wanted to have a ton of kids like her mother, but was only able to have one, and the one she had wasn't keen on the idea of kids until he was 30. So you can understand how unfulfilled she might have been. But yet, I couldn't leave that situation, I couldn't do anything to calm her concerns until it was all said and done.
The night he was born I called and told everyone they could come, the next morning when they took him away, I had to call everyone back and tell them they couldn't come. My mother was actually on a business trip at the time and she wanted to see the child as soon as she got back, which we thought would be fine. Well, my son was born 5 days before 9/11, which was when my mom was scheduled to come back. So, she was stuck out of town for a couple extra days. Meanwhile, my dad's grandson from a previous marraige, so my nephew had come into the town I lived in and was hoping to get hold of me, I hadn't seen him since he was a little boy, now he was an adult in the military and in town on a layover, and I couldn't get back to him because I had so much crap going on. I was trying to deal with the NICU, they were dragging their feet on getting my son released and kept coming up with one excuse after another as to why he wasn't ready yet. They had lactation Nazis down our throats trying to get the baby to nurse in what had to be the least natural setting they could have dreamed up (all it took was for my wife to be at home in comfortable surroundings). They treated us (we were in our early 30s at this point), like if they gave us our child we weren't going to know how to keep him alive. We're dealing with politics and what I'm convinced was efforts to jack up our hospital bill to maximum proportions (if I hadn't had insurance this affair would have cost $45,000). We're completely vulnerable and at everyone's mercy. So, we finally get out of the hospital on the 10th, but our baby didn't get out until the 13th of September, 9/11 caused everyone to be off their game, and our problems which seemed earth shattering to us didn't seem to be a consideration for anyone else. In the meantime I was the only one at my work who knew how to do payroll, so I actually had to go in on 9/11 to get that done despite eveyrthing else going on. On top of it, my wife started graduate school on 9/12 (we thought going into the hospital on 9/5 she'd be all ready for her first day). And of course her incision got infected after they sent her home.
It was a nightmare, a fiasco in every way possible. We ended up with a perfect baby boy who is now 6 1/2 and by God yes it was worth every moment. But what we DIDN'T need was my mother breathing down our necks. To top it off, when we finally got him out of the hospital, the next day, my parents, who came down to where I live to pick up my nephew whose calls I'd never returned, showed up on our doorstep with my nephew. All 3 had bad colds, and my nephew had a 6 foot python in tow. I felt like a real jerk, but I told them to go away. Yes, a week and a half after my son was born, I denied my parents the ability to see their grandchild, something that was every bit as important to them as it is to you. It took us a few days to get pictures out. I didn't spend more than 10 minutes on the phone with my mom that first week.
Now, I don't suspect your daughter is going through what we went through, but clearly if they have asked you to keep your distance for two weeks, there could be a reason. We were worried
When my son was born it was awfully traumatic. The baby was getting very large and we needed to induce, so we spent 36 hours trying, and then we were told there were decels and they needed to get the baby out. So my wife, in a horribly weakened state from 36 hours of labor and no food, was wheeled into surgery, the LAST thing we wanted. They did a C-Section, but the epidural didn't take, she could feel them cutting, so they had to put her out completely. It was the polar opposite of what we'd envisioned. We also learned that she may have had undiagnosed GD, and what with the stress of 36 hours of labor and no nutrients entering her bloodstream, our son came out with very low blood sugar, so much that he was not staying awake long enough to eat. Top it off, it took my wife nearly two hours to be brought out of her anesthesia because the pain was so unbearable and anesthesia doesn't work well on her, so she wasn't able to hold the baby for about 4 hours after he was born. He wouldn't even take food from their cup, much less nurse, and the next day they took him to intensive care to get his sugars up.
Well, in the midst of this harrowing experience when I'm not sure what they're doing with my wife, my mom from 3 1/2 hours north is calling and calling the hospital over and over again, and I can't come to the phone, I keep telling them that I'll call her when I can. I get that she's excited, I'm her only child, and this was my first (and only) child. She wanted to have a ton of kids like her mother, but was only able to have one, and the one she had wasn't keen on the idea of kids until he was 30. So you can understand how unfulfilled she might have been. But yet, I couldn't leave that situation, I couldn't do anything to calm her concerns until it was all said and done.
The night he was born I called and told everyone they could come, the next morning when they took him away, I had to call everyone back and tell them they couldn't come. My mother was actually on a business trip at the time and she wanted to see the child as soon as she got back, which we thought would be fine. Well, my son was born 5 days before 9/11, which was when my mom was scheduled to come back. So, she was stuck out of town for a couple extra days. Meanwhile, my dad's grandson from a previous marraige, so my nephew had come into the town I lived in and was hoping to get hold of me, I hadn't seen him since he was a little boy, now he was an adult in the military and in town on a layover, and I couldn't get back to him because I had so much crap going on. I was trying to deal with the NICU, they were dragging their feet on getting my son released and kept coming up with one excuse after another as to why he wasn't ready yet. They had lactation Nazis down our throats trying to get the baby to nurse in what had to be the least natural setting they could have dreamed up (all it took was for my wife to be at home in comfortable surroundings). They treated us (we were in our early 30s at this point), like if they gave us our child we weren't going to know how to keep him alive. We're dealing with politics and what I'm convinced was efforts to jack up our hospital bill to maximum proportions (if I hadn't had insurance this affair would have cost $45,000). We're completely vulnerable and at everyone's mercy. So, we finally get out of the hospital on the 10th, but our baby didn't get out until the 13th of September, 9/11 caused everyone to be off their game, and our problems which seemed earth shattering to us didn't seem to be a consideration for anyone else. In the meantime I was the only one at my work who knew how to do payroll, so I actually had to go in on 9/11 to get that done despite eveyrthing else going on. On top of it, my wife started graduate school on 9/12 (we thought going into the hospital on 9/5 she'd be all ready for her first day). And of course her incision got infected after they sent her home.
It was a nightmare, a fiasco in every way possible. We ended up with a perfect baby boy who is now 6 1/2 and by God yes it was worth every moment. But what we DIDN'T need was my mother breathing down our necks. To top it off, when we finally got him out of the hospital, the next day, my parents, who came down to where I live to pick up my nephew whose calls I'd never returned, showed up on our doorstep with my nephew. All 3 had bad colds, and my nephew had a 6 foot python in tow. I felt like a real jerk, but I told them to go away. Yes, a week and a half after my son was born, I denied my parents the ability to see their grandchild, something that was every bit as important to them as it is to you. It took us a few days to get pictures out. I didn't spend more than 10 minutes on the phone with my mom that first week.
Now, I don't suspect your daughter is going through what we went through, but clearly if they have asked you to keep your distance for two weeks, there could be a reason. We were worried
how to care for my child with cerebral palsy?
Michelle
i have a 7 week old daughter who has been diagnosed with cerebral palsy. She has had a funduplication and a g-tube and will be ready to go home from the NICU for the very first time! I must admit I am a little bit scared. She will need a lot of care. Where can i find the support i need? and all other resources?
Answer
What happened to cause her CP? Did you have a complicated delivery?
The very first thing you should do is find a competent medical malpractice attorney to look into your labor and your daughter's birth records to rule out medical malpractice that may have caused your daughter's CP.
I hope I am wrong in your case, but I must share this: I am a mom that until I went to the hospital for my scheduled inducement had a healthy full term baby. They made some mistakes and now my son has CP.
You are right about her needing a lot of care. She will most likely need: Speech, occupational, and physical therapies weekly for possibly the rest of her life. She will probably need medical equipment ranging from orthotics to help her walk, walkers, hand crutches and even a wheel chair. Depending on the severity of her CP she may need help for the rest of her life just getting dressed and feeding herself.
People with CP are generally not insurable by regular health coverage. Medicaid only covers the most basic life sustaining needs for people who can't afford to pay for their own medical needs and CP requires so much in terms of special healthcare. My son is only 2 1/2 and has been to the hospital more times than I ever have in my 34 years for tests you never even knew existed or ever heard of or anyone else that I know. It's a whole diferent ball game caring for a child with CP. He requires medication, orthotics, therapies and is now going to be susceptible to early onset arthritis, parkinsons disease, paralysis, seizures, falling and cracking his skull, and choking on food. If he is ever left in the care of cold hearted people after I pass on, he could easily be abused and neglected.
Get a competant attorney, a good pediatrician that will point you to good therapists, support, and be the voice for your daughter. There are statutes of limitations for how long you have to file a suit if indeed the hospital deviated from the normal standard of care and is responsible. I know you appreciate the doctor who delivered her and all the nurses and NICU staff who have been there to help, but 20 years down the road, how will you and your daughter feel when the money and coverage is not there for her care?
Here is a site that is educational on medical malpractice issues:
http://ringlerassociates.com/
and here is a support site and community where you can find more resources:
http://www.mychildwithoutlimits.org/
If it wasn't for a good friend of mine who new what she was seeing when all I could think about was my son being okay, and who referred me to a good attorney, I don't know where we would be. Having a child with CP is life changing and will be a beautiful and rewarding experience if you have knowledge and resources for her care.
Wishing you and your precious angel the best,
-S
What happened to cause her CP? Did you have a complicated delivery?
The very first thing you should do is find a competent medical malpractice attorney to look into your labor and your daughter's birth records to rule out medical malpractice that may have caused your daughter's CP.
I hope I am wrong in your case, but I must share this: I am a mom that until I went to the hospital for my scheduled inducement had a healthy full term baby. They made some mistakes and now my son has CP.
You are right about her needing a lot of care. She will most likely need: Speech, occupational, and physical therapies weekly for possibly the rest of her life. She will probably need medical equipment ranging from orthotics to help her walk, walkers, hand crutches and even a wheel chair. Depending on the severity of her CP she may need help for the rest of her life just getting dressed and feeding herself.
People with CP are generally not insurable by regular health coverage. Medicaid only covers the most basic life sustaining needs for people who can't afford to pay for their own medical needs and CP requires so much in terms of special healthcare. My son is only 2 1/2 and has been to the hospital more times than I ever have in my 34 years for tests you never even knew existed or ever heard of or anyone else that I know. It's a whole diferent ball game caring for a child with CP. He requires medication, orthotics, therapies and is now going to be susceptible to early onset arthritis, parkinsons disease, paralysis, seizures, falling and cracking his skull, and choking on food. If he is ever left in the care of cold hearted people after I pass on, he could easily be abused and neglected.
Get a competant attorney, a good pediatrician that will point you to good therapists, support, and be the voice for your daughter. There are statutes of limitations for how long you have to file a suit if indeed the hospital deviated from the normal standard of care and is responsible. I know you appreciate the doctor who delivered her and all the nurses and NICU staff who have been there to help, but 20 years down the road, how will you and your daughter feel when the money and coverage is not there for her care?
Here is a site that is educational on medical malpractice issues:
http://ringlerassociates.com/
and here is a support site and community where you can find more resources:
http://www.mychildwithoutlimits.org/
If it wasn't for a good friend of mine who new what she was seeing when all I could think about was my son being okay, and who referred me to a good attorney, I don't know where we would be. Having a child with CP is life changing and will be a beautiful and rewarding experience if you have knowledge and resources for her care.
Wishing you and your precious angel the best,
-S
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