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Joe Schmoe
Neither of us have ever had kids. What will be the biggest challenge? How much does day care cost? Diapers? Etc.? Will I be able to finish college? I need to hear about other peoples' experiences.
Answer
My husband is an accountant and figured this out as much as he could. Please be aware that we live in a high cost area so we are paying more than say, the Midwest.
1. Medical care - Maternity care and the doctor's fee for delivery is usually a flat rate. This includes all your prenatal visits and a basic vaginal delivery fee for the delivering physician. This does not cover blood work, ultrasounds, urology testing, vaginal cultures, etc. These are billed at whatever rate you have with your insurer. The actual stay at the hospital will be a room, bed, nursing plus materials cost. I would call your local hospital and insurer to figure out approximately what this will come to.
2. Day care. Completely depends on who, how and where. Count on at least $800/month on the low side for home-run daycare with much more for a franchise facility. We are fortunate in our area because we can get qualified nannies who are recent immigrants who will cook, clean and watch the children for $1000/month.
3. Diapers. Cloth diapers are more work, but less expensive. Cloth diapers now are entirely different from what they used to be. http://www.fuzzibunz.com/ http://www.happyheinys.com/ If you go with disposables, buy them from Sam's Club or Costco or equivalent. I would buy wipes in bulk from them as well. If we buy them from a local store, they run about $18-20/pack. The packs get smaller as the sizes get bigger. They start at around 40 diapers and go down from there. Babies go through about a dozen diapers a day to start and then taper down some. You will spend a ton of money here.
4. Feeding. Breastfeeding saves well over $1000/year. You will need a breast pump which runs up to $350. (Buy a good one such as a Medela dual electric.) You will also need smaller items such as nursing bras, nursing pads, etc. You will want to have some bottles and maybe a bottle warmer on hand so that she can express her milk with the pump, and others can feed the baby when she is not with him. I can't speak to formula feeding. We aren't planning on going that route.
5. Setup costs. Buying used can save you a ton of money, but you will need to do research to ensure that the items meet safety standards. I would suggest www.craigslist.com. Do NOT buy a used crib mattress. Buy this new for sanitary and safety reasons. I would also suggest that you buy a new infant car seat and base. If the car is ever in an accident of any kind, the infant seat and base must be replaced, even if they look perfectly undamaged. I wouldn't risk someone's selling you a seat that may have been in an accident. We had to buy new since in our area, the cost weirdly ends up being the same between the 'normal stuff' that we would buy and the used 'ultra-luxury' stuff that people sell. We budgeted $2000 and came in just below that, but that included everything - car seat, base, stroller, crib, mattress, changing table, all possible accessories, breast pump with all other breastfeeding items, bottles and nipples, bottle warmer, toys, glider rocker with ottoman, clothes, 500 wipes, 2 -3 weeks worth of diapers, etc. For this amount, we completely and fully outfitted an entire nursery by shopping sales, generous baby showers, and spending a lot of time online looking for quality, but less expensive baby furniture. We did buy a changing table that is really a dresser with a change table on top so that we didn't have to buy him a dresser when he is a toddler or to use for both children if we have a second (dresser for the first and changing table top for the second).
Our pregnancy was a complete and total surprise. (We were told that I probably couldn't have children.) We immediately began to save and make financial arrangements. We also reduced our expenses by cutting down on simple things such as my husband's morning stop for coffee, dinners out on Fridays, visiting movie theatres, etc. We instead starting doing free activities or lower costs things such as renting movies, going for walks in the free botantical gardens, eating out at cheap restaurants, and being more careful to buy grocery items that are on sale.
The baby was the first grandchild on both sides and the first baby in the family for several years so people went 'nutz-so' on gift giving which was very generous and a tremendous help. I would not be shy about registering for whatever you need. People love to buy for babies and are truly happy to give you gifts. Even co-workers surprised me with a homemade knit baby blanket and other presents.
My father (who is around a genius IQ) had a wife, two children and full-time, nightshift menial job sweeping coal dust in a power plant after being discharged from the Army. It took him nine years part-time, but he graduated from college and went on to have a good career. He started when I (the oldest child) was seven years told so I was 16 when he graduated. It was inspirational to us children and a constant reminder of the importance of diligence and hard work. When I went to college and got discouraged, I would think "Well, if Dad could do it, what I am getting so worked up about?" To this day, when someone mentions the word 'character', I think 'Dad'. Dad defines character. Staying in school may be hard, but I would strongly encourage you to do it.
Growing up, we didn't have all that much, but I had a very happy childhood which I look back on with nothing but fondness. I remembered being shocked when I grew older and realized that I had been a 'poor kid'. All I knew was that I was dearly loved, content and came from a stable, loving, happy home with parents who cared for me dearly.
My husband is an accountant and figured this out as much as he could. Please be aware that we live in a high cost area so we are paying more than say, the Midwest.
1. Medical care - Maternity care and the doctor's fee for delivery is usually a flat rate. This includes all your prenatal visits and a basic vaginal delivery fee for the delivering physician. This does not cover blood work, ultrasounds, urology testing, vaginal cultures, etc. These are billed at whatever rate you have with your insurer. The actual stay at the hospital will be a room, bed, nursing plus materials cost. I would call your local hospital and insurer to figure out approximately what this will come to.
2. Day care. Completely depends on who, how and where. Count on at least $800/month on the low side for home-run daycare with much more for a franchise facility. We are fortunate in our area because we can get qualified nannies who are recent immigrants who will cook, clean and watch the children for $1000/month.
3. Diapers. Cloth diapers are more work, but less expensive. Cloth diapers now are entirely different from what they used to be. http://www.fuzzibunz.com/ http://www.happyheinys.com/ If you go with disposables, buy them from Sam's Club or Costco or equivalent. I would buy wipes in bulk from them as well. If we buy them from a local store, they run about $18-20/pack. The packs get smaller as the sizes get bigger. They start at around 40 diapers and go down from there. Babies go through about a dozen diapers a day to start and then taper down some. You will spend a ton of money here.
4. Feeding. Breastfeeding saves well over $1000/year. You will need a breast pump which runs up to $350. (Buy a good one such as a Medela dual electric.) You will also need smaller items such as nursing bras, nursing pads, etc. You will want to have some bottles and maybe a bottle warmer on hand so that she can express her milk with the pump, and others can feed the baby when she is not with him. I can't speak to formula feeding. We aren't planning on going that route.
5. Setup costs. Buying used can save you a ton of money, but you will need to do research to ensure that the items meet safety standards. I would suggest www.craigslist.com. Do NOT buy a used crib mattress. Buy this new for sanitary and safety reasons. I would also suggest that you buy a new infant car seat and base. If the car is ever in an accident of any kind, the infant seat and base must be replaced, even if they look perfectly undamaged. I wouldn't risk someone's selling you a seat that may have been in an accident. We had to buy new since in our area, the cost weirdly ends up being the same between the 'normal stuff' that we would buy and the used 'ultra-luxury' stuff that people sell. We budgeted $2000 and came in just below that, but that included everything - car seat, base, stroller, crib, mattress, changing table, all possible accessories, breast pump with all other breastfeeding items, bottles and nipples, bottle warmer, toys, glider rocker with ottoman, clothes, 500 wipes, 2 -3 weeks worth of diapers, etc. For this amount, we completely and fully outfitted an entire nursery by shopping sales, generous baby showers, and spending a lot of time online looking for quality, but less expensive baby furniture. We did buy a changing table that is really a dresser with a change table on top so that we didn't have to buy him a dresser when he is a toddler or to use for both children if we have a second (dresser for the first and changing table top for the second).
Our pregnancy was a complete and total surprise. (We were told that I probably couldn't have children.) We immediately began to save and make financial arrangements. We also reduced our expenses by cutting down on simple things such as my husband's morning stop for coffee, dinners out on Fridays, visiting movie theatres, etc. We instead starting doing free activities or lower costs things such as renting movies, going for walks in the free botantical gardens, eating out at cheap restaurants, and being more careful to buy grocery items that are on sale.
The baby was the first grandchild on both sides and the first baby in the family for several years so people went 'nutz-so' on gift giving which was very generous and a tremendous help. I would not be shy about registering for whatever you need. People love to buy for babies and are truly happy to give you gifts. Even co-workers surprised me with a homemade knit baby blanket and other presents.
My father (who is around a genius IQ) had a wife, two children and full-time, nightshift menial job sweeping coal dust in a power plant after being discharged from the Army. It took him nine years part-time, but he graduated from college and went on to have a good career. He started when I (the oldest child) was seven years told so I was 16 when he graduated. It was inspirational to us children and a constant reminder of the importance of diligence and hard work. When I went to college and got discouraged, I would think "Well, if Dad could do it, what I am getting so worked up about?" To this day, when someone mentions the word 'character', I think 'Dad'. Dad defines character. Staying in school may be hard, but I would strongly encourage you to do it.
Growing up, we didn't have all that much, but I had a very happy childhood which I look back on with nothing but fondness. I remembered being shocked when I grew older and realized that I had been a 'poor kid'. All I knew was that I was dearly loved, content and came from a stable, loving, happy home with parents who cared for me dearly.
A question about registering for gifts for baby showers?
Someonesmo
How many places should I register? What type of things does one register for? How many items should I register for? Do I register for the bigger price items too? When I had my first baby 7 years ago, I was a older teen mom and I did it all on my own with either hand me downs or garage sale stuff. Now that I am having one the right way (being married and all that jazz), my family and friends are having a shower and suggesting that I register. My family says one thing, but I thinking another. Please help settle the debate.... THANKS!
Answer
This is a list a friend of mine found for me on a baby site...Im 33 weeks and i registered at 2 Stores and put everything i needed on there....Good luck!
Baby mittens (to keep from scratching its own face!)
baby hats (light ones for indoors, their heads get cold easily)
pacifiers
bottles
bottle brush
breast pump (if u wanna breastfeed)
nursing pads
nursing bras
diapers size newborn and size 1 (u dont know how big the baby will be!)
these i stole off a website
Basic Layette (ok u need a lot more then this but ull figure that out! lol)
__ 3-6 Onesies
__ 3-6 Hats and Booties
__ 3-6 Receiving Blankets
__ 3-6 Sleep & Play outfits
__ 3-6 Bibs
__ 3 Gowns
__ Diapers (4 dozen cloth, at least 8 diaper covers & 8 Safety Pins)
(Figure using 8 disposable diapers per day minimum)
Basic Necessities
__ Baby Bath tub!
__ Infant Car Seat
__ First Aid Kit
__ Syrup of Ipecac (no idea what the hell this is!)
__ Smoke Detector for Baby's Room
__ Carbon Monoxide Detector
__ Thermometer (rectal works best with infants)
__ Diaper Bag with changing pad
__ Brush and Comb
__ Baby Shampoo
__ Baby Soap
__ Baby Lotion
__ Baby Oil
__ Petroleum Jelly (vaseline)
__ Baby Powder
__ Cotton Swabs
__ Baby Wipes
__ Diaper Rash Ointment
__ Nail Scissors
__ Suction Bulb
__ Pacifier (Buy a couple different styles, your baby will have a preference.)
__ Pacifier Tether (Make sure that the cord is short.)
__ Spray Sanitizer or Disinfectant (i use clorox wipes, they have no bleach in them! but they work amazing)
__ Bath Water Thermometer
__ 4-6 Baby Washcloths
__ 2-3 Hooded Bathtowels
__ 6-8 Bottles
__ Bottle Brush
__ Laundry Soap (i use baby all, dreft leaves anasty after scent)
__ Bleach (LIGHT bleach, i use the new bleach that is like laundry detergent)
__ Baby Oxy Clean (for those tough spit up stains, this works wonders)
Bedding
__ Sleeping Wedge (Keeps baby sleeping on it's side.)
__ Bedding Set (it is recommended u use the comforter for decoration, do not put it in the crib with the baby!
__ 10- Receiving blankets
__ 3-6 Fitted Crib Sheets
__ 3 Crib Pads
Furniture & Durable Baby Accessories
__ Crib
__ Mattress
__ Changing Table (Preferably with safety rails, always with safety straps.)
__ Changing Table Pad (Plastic or vinyl and easy to santize.)
__ Rocking Chair
__ Cradle or Bassinet
__ Stroller
__ Playpen
__ Bouncer Infant Seat (For in-home use only.)
__ Diaper Pail (the new diaper genie 2 is good, dont get the original it sucks!)
__ Baby Monitor
__ Lamp with night light
For the New Mother
__ Birth Announcements
__ 12-14 Nursing Pads (either washable or throw-aways)
__ 2-4 Nighttime Nursing Gowns
__ 3-6 Nursing Bras
__ Nursing Tops
__ Breast Pump (Electric or Manual)
For the New Father
__ Cigars (Real or artificial)
Helpful Extras to Make Life More Comfortable
__ Baby Carrier (i love the snugglie one, it worked wonders with alyssa)
__ Nursing Pillow (boppy love it!)
__ Nursing Stool
__ Humidifier
__ Swing
__ Portable Crib
__ Baby Bath Tub
__ Car Rear Window Mirrors (Allows you to see your baby in the back seat.)
__ Head support - Padded Seat
__ Soothing Music that contains Heartbeat and Womb Sounds
__ Infant Sunglasses with 100% UV Protection (these are not recommended anymore, they can cause damage to babies eyes!)
__ Mobile
__ Foot and Wrist Rattles
__ Bottle Warmer
__ Bottle Insulator Covers
__ Bottle Sterilizer (If you don't have a dishwasher.)
__ Dishwasher Basket for Nipples and Rings
__ Baby Wipe Warmer
__ Car Seat Protector (Protects upholstery beneath and around the car seat.)
__ Stroller Cup Holder (Attaches to handle or side.)
__ Hands-Free Baby Bottle
__ Baby Milestones and Memories Book
__ Nursery Wallpaper and Paint
__ Toys
Things to Buy Later...5 months and older
__ High Chair
__ Stationary Exercise & Play Seat
__ Back Pack Carrier
__ Outlet Covers
__ Drawer Latches
__ Safety Gates
__ TV and VCR Covers
__ Bath Seat
__ Bathtub Spout Cover
__ Baby Food Grinder
__ Books
__ Feeding Dishes and Utensils
__ Tub Toys
This is a list a friend of mine found for me on a baby site...Im 33 weeks and i registered at 2 Stores and put everything i needed on there....Good luck!
Baby mittens (to keep from scratching its own face!)
baby hats (light ones for indoors, their heads get cold easily)
pacifiers
bottles
bottle brush
breast pump (if u wanna breastfeed)
nursing pads
nursing bras
diapers size newborn and size 1 (u dont know how big the baby will be!)
these i stole off a website
Basic Layette (ok u need a lot more then this but ull figure that out! lol)
__ 3-6 Onesies
__ 3-6 Hats and Booties
__ 3-6 Receiving Blankets
__ 3-6 Sleep & Play outfits
__ 3-6 Bibs
__ 3 Gowns
__ Diapers (4 dozen cloth, at least 8 diaper covers & 8 Safety Pins)
(Figure using 8 disposable diapers per day minimum)
Basic Necessities
__ Baby Bath tub!
__ Infant Car Seat
__ First Aid Kit
__ Syrup of Ipecac (no idea what the hell this is!)
__ Smoke Detector for Baby's Room
__ Carbon Monoxide Detector
__ Thermometer (rectal works best with infants)
__ Diaper Bag with changing pad
__ Brush and Comb
__ Baby Shampoo
__ Baby Soap
__ Baby Lotion
__ Baby Oil
__ Petroleum Jelly (vaseline)
__ Baby Powder
__ Cotton Swabs
__ Baby Wipes
__ Diaper Rash Ointment
__ Nail Scissors
__ Suction Bulb
__ Pacifier (Buy a couple different styles, your baby will have a preference.)
__ Pacifier Tether (Make sure that the cord is short.)
__ Spray Sanitizer or Disinfectant (i use clorox wipes, they have no bleach in them! but they work amazing)
__ Bath Water Thermometer
__ 4-6 Baby Washcloths
__ 2-3 Hooded Bathtowels
__ 6-8 Bottles
__ Bottle Brush
__ Laundry Soap (i use baby all, dreft leaves anasty after scent)
__ Bleach (LIGHT bleach, i use the new bleach that is like laundry detergent)
__ Baby Oxy Clean (for those tough spit up stains, this works wonders)
Bedding
__ Sleeping Wedge (Keeps baby sleeping on it's side.)
__ Bedding Set (it is recommended u use the comforter for decoration, do not put it in the crib with the baby!
__ 10- Receiving blankets
__ 3-6 Fitted Crib Sheets
__ 3 Crib Pads
Furniture & Durable Baby Accessories
__ Crib
__ Mattress
__ Changing Table (Preferably with safety rails, always with safety straps.)
__ Changing Table Pad (Plastic or vinyl and easy to santize.)
__ Rocking Chair
__ Cradle or Bassinet
__ Stroller
__ Playpen
__ Bouncer Infant Seat (For in-home use only.)
__ Diaper Pail (the new diaper genie 2 is good, dont get the original it sucks!)
__ Baby Monitor
__ Lamp with night light
For the New Mother
__ Birth Announcements
__ 12-14 Nursing Pads (either washable or throw-aways)
__ 2-4 Nighttime Nursing Gowns
__ 3-6 Nursing Bras
__ Nursing Tops
__ Breast Pump (Electric or Manual)
For the New Father
__ Cigars (Real or artificial)
Helpful Extras to Make Life More Comfortable
__ Baby Carrier (i love the snugglie one, it worked wonders with alyssa)
__ Nursing Pillow (boppy love it!)
__ Nursing Stool
__ Humidifier
__ Swing
__ Portable Crib
__ Baby Bath Tub
__ Car Rear Window Mirrors (Allows you to see your baby in the back seat.)
__ Head support - Padded Seat
__ Soothing Music that contains Heartbeat and Womb Sounds
__ Infant Sunglasses with 100% UV Protection (these are not recommended anymore, they can cause damage to babies eyes!)
__ Mobile
__ Foot and Wrist Rattles
__ Bottle Warmer
__ Bottle Insulator Covers
__ Bottle Sterilizer (If you don't have a dishwasher.)
__ Dishwasher Basket for Nipples and Rings
__ Baby Wipe Warmer
__ Car Seat Protector (Protects upholstery beneath and around the car seat.)
__ Stroller Cup Holder (Attaches to handle or side.)
__ Hands-Free Baby Bottle
__ Baby Milestones and Memories Book
__ Nursery Wallpaper and Paint
__ Toys
Things to Buy Later...5 months and older
__ High Chair
__ Stationary Exercise & Play Seat
__ Back Pack Carrier
__ Outlet Covers
__ Drawer Latches
__ Safety Gates
__ TV and VCR Covers
__ Bath Seat
__ Bathtub Spout Cover
__ Baby Food Grinder
__ Books
__ Feeding Dishes and Utensils
__ Tub Toys
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