Tasha
I am living with my fiance who has 3 kids. Ages 5(will be 6 this year-girl), 4(turned in Jan-boy), and 2(will turn 3 this year-boy). I have been living with them for 9 or so moths, & been in their lives for 2 & 1/2 years. When I met my fiance him & his ex had just split and he had his girl, who was enrolled in preschool. The mother had left town with the two boys. I stepped up then and started to take care of his child. I went to her school functions and gave her the woman she needed then. In Jan 2011 we got the eldest boy, who when his mother came to pick him up, he screamed cried and wouldn't let go of the table he had a hold of which makes me wonder if he was being neglected or abused. He was 3 then and was still in diapers. We enrolled him for school in the fall. We got the youngest a lot during the summer and she would hardly ever get the other two because she was either "sick" or "busy" as in hungover or partying. This school year she has yet to be involved in the kids school life. I take them and pick them up everyday and am there for every event and field trip I'm allowed to go on. I have had to be the one to do the home visits (the school requires one 3 times a year), parent teacher meetings, and sign some papers. The mother is pregnant with her 4th child at age 21(almost 22) and its effecting my "step daughter" because she says that she wants a baby when she turns 16 (when her mother got pregnant for the first time). The behavior is showing at school. I've done everything I can to try to stop such actions, but when she goes to her moms on Saturday nights. She likes me taking care of her children now and she even wants us to keep the youngest(who is with her most of the weekdays seeing as I have to take the kids to school & my fiance works) a month after she has this new baby but she wants to keep the medicaid in her name for him & keep him on her food stamps. & I'm sure he won't want to go home after a month seeing he barely wants to go home now. I just want to know if one day she tries to take custody of them if I'll be able to have a say so in it after me and their father have been married(no legal custody is in place now). I love these kids to death, I dress, feed, bathe, play, the school things, homework and just bout everything else a mother does, such as bedtime stories, teaching, etc. with them. I gave up college the past year to make sure they could get to school(because they cut buses for headstart) I'm a SAHM with them. Am I legal to sign school papers, doctor app papers, etc? Will I be able to say anything if she tries to take them away? I live in NC if that helps. Thanks in advance for all help.
Answer
I am in almost the EXACT same position!! Incredible that any woman wouldn't want her children or care for them, right?? Ugh. Here are some things you need to do right away!
1. Have your boyfriend write a letter to the school district saying that you have all the rights of a parent with them. Spell it all out. You are allowed to sign papers, you are allowed to have conferences with teachers, you are allowed to pick them up from school, you are allowed to drop them off at school, etc. The school can STILL give you shit about this, but at least you can TRY to get it done. It worked for two years for my stepsons, then the ex raised hell about it. 10 years later, she quit caring again, so now the school is cool again.
2. Get medical authorization from your boyfriend and have HER sign, too... if possible. Get that NOTARIZED if possible. This way, you can take the kids to the doc and hospital if necessary.
3. Anytime she does ANYTHING out of the ordinary, document it. Keep a log, every day if you have to. This is what saved us in court. We actually have full custody of BOTH kids now because the judge read everything I had been keeping in a journal. She would show up drunk to get them and we wouldn't let them go... it went in the journal. Kids showed up with bruises and said mommy hit them with a spatula...it went in the journal. She said she overslept and the kids missed two hours of school... it went in the journal.
No, you won't have any rights that your boyfriend/husband doesn't give you and even then, she can fight it. Best to try to keep her on your good side and keep documenting. Eventually it will pay off!
I've been in the lives of my stepsons (no, we're still not married) for 13 years. They love me and respect me and I love them right back!! Good luck with everything. Hope it all works out!!
I am in almost the EXACT same position!! Incredible that any woman wouldn't want her children or care for them, right?? Ugh. Here are some things you need to do right away!
1. Have your boyfriend write a letter to the school district saying that you have all the rights of a parent with them. Spell it all out. You are allowed to sign papers, you are allowed to have conferences with teachers, you are allowed to pick them up from school, you are allowed to drop them off at school, etc. The school can STILL give you shit about this, but at least you can TRY to get it done. It worked for two years for my stepsons, then the ex raised hell about it. 10 years later, she quit caring again, so now the school is cool again.
2. Get medical authorization from your boyfriend and have HER sign, too... if possible. Get that NOTARIZED if possible. This way, you can take the kids to the doc and hospital if necessary.
3. Anytime she does ANYTHING out of the ordinary, document it. Keep a log, every day if you have to. This is what saved us in court. We actually have full custody of BOTH kids now because the judge read everything I had been keeping in a journal. She would show up drunk to get them and we wouldn't let them go... it went in the journal. Kids showed up with bruises and said mommy hit them with a spatula...it went in the journal. She said she overslept and the kids missed two hours of school... it went in the journal.
No, you won't have any rights that your boyfriend/husband doesn't give you and even then, she can fight it. Best to try to keep her on your good side and keep documenting. Eventually it will pay off!
I've been in the lives of my stepsons (no, we're still not married) for 13 years. They love me and respect me and I love them right back!! Good luck with everything. Hope it all works out!!
Powered by Yahoo! Answers
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar